by Naomi Saelens.
It’s just a simple word.
Confidence – at its heart, the belief and trust that we have in our ability to achieve the things we set out to do.
If we don’t have enough confidence, we run the risk of not engaging fully in life. We hold ourselves back from doing the things we truly aspire to do. The new job that you might want. The date you might like to go on. The project you might like to start. The dream that you’ve secretly been sitting on. We might not even start if we feel defeated before we even start. What’s the point? You can’t even do it anyway.
But there is a point. The point is that you were put on this earth to be fully alive and present, to unearth the magical delights of life, to uncover your purpose and live it, and to share your gifts with the world. It’s not talent that determines your success, it’s your attitude and the belief in yourself that determines who ultimately succeeds. You are not only stopping yourself from experiencing all that life has to offer, you are withholding yourself from giving your greatest gifts.
We weren’t born this way you know. Sure, genetics might have a thing or two to do with it, but you weren’t born to live with the breaks on. We are born full of life and potential, joyful and confident – ready to take on the world, quietly or by storm. Our purpose in life I believe is ultimately about uncovering who we truly are and watering the seed of potential within us.
But for some of us, the story changes. Somewhere we might have been reprimanded, scolded for something we shouldn’t have done. Our parents wanting the best for us may have focused on continuously helping us improve, but somewhere instilling the message that we are not good enough.
We are hardwired for belonging, it’s probably one of the things we crave most. And in order to belong, we learn to accommodate others, slowly molding ourselves to fit in, but also losing touch with who we truly are. And with that, we also lose the belief we have in ourselves, the belief that we are good enough just as we are and that we can set out into the world with the belief that we can be and do great things.
But you see, it’s so silly isn’t it. We believed the story, but it was never true. You can find your way back again. You can reclaim the confidence that was always yours to begin with. I know, because I’ve walked the path of reclaiming confidence and courage.
I still walk it each and every day. Somedays it is effortless. It comes from knowing who I am and what matters to me, it comes from the scars and lessons that I’ve learned on the way, from getting a deeper understanding of who I truly am at heart. It comes from learning more about how our minds work, what messages we need to feed it and understanding that confidence comes from meeting your fears and moving through them.
Has this all been effortless? God no. I’ve learned through trial and tribulation, and some days I still struggle. The voice inside my head rearing its ugly head again saying I’m not good enough or some version of the story on repeat. Somedays I still believe it, until I wake up again and realise that I’ve fallen for its grasp again. I struggle, I stumble, I fall, and I get up again. Repeat. Some days the getting up again takes a little longer.
But I always get back up because I know that I don’t want to stop myself from doing the things I so desire. I have dreams to build, things to do, people and places I want to see, adventures I want to have, love that I want to feel within my bones.
And I want the same for you. I’m tired of seeing wonderful people holding themselves back because of a fear that has lodged in their mind that they are not capable or good enough. They are stories that have been created that aren’t based on truth.
I know somewhere you know this too. Confidence can be yours for the taking, in your own subtle or not so subtle way. It doesn’t even have to look pretty. All you must do, is to start the journey. And if that first step is believing that you can cultivate confidence and reclaim it then that it is.
If this piece spoke to you in some way, I’d be so pleased to have you join me for my presentation at The Practice on 10 October at 19:45 or during my workshop on 14 October (1-6pm). For further information, please see www.thepracticebali.com/events