Fragility

by Jyoti Murray.

At the centre of the mandala is a seed.

The seed cracks it’s tiny shell and starts to “push out” fragile, slowly & patiently, being fed and supported by the sweetness of the nutrient rich soil it calls home.

Fragilityjyoti

For the most part I’ve been thriving here in Bali feeling alive and well nourished by my surroundings.

But every now and then there’s a reality check and life gets sticky and murky, and this past week in particular with the lead up to the total solar eclipse and Nyepi (Silent day) I feel more like a seed that’s landed on a desert floor, dry and thirsty and hanging on for life.  I have been feeling stagnant.  Starting to feel vulnerable, wanting to move inwards rather than outwards I reached out to Carl Massy for some guidance as I had a blog piece due “yesterday” and I was completely mentally stuck.

Reading his reply I took a few long deep breaths and begun to feel some softness & rounding out returning again, I was feeling little more nourished as his insightful words encouraged me gently to reframe my “stuck mind”.

This is where good friends & community has a big play in our sense of feeling “satisfied” within the mandala of life feeling their support and nurturance.

I liken it to my yoga practice which is one of my primary ways to “feed” myself along with good food, clean air & water.  You’ll see me at the studio in another teachers class as I appreciate greatly being the student, to practice with others and be in the collective energy that’s not available in self practice.

When I’m feeling restless is when I need yoga & meditation the most, these are the times it’s simply not negotiable.  I do whatever it takes to get on the mat and take care of myself one asana and breath at a time.  Moving gently back to my core to this seed within the mandala of my body, of life.

And as I write this piece on the eve of Nyepi the sky moans with thunder and opens up with a cleansing down pour and finally quenches the thirst.

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